Friday, August 12, 2011

Comcast- the final chapter...for now.

Wednesday,  after we returned from our little walk downtown,  our water was shut off.  It seems a water main was broken.

Which was lovely, because we were sweaty and  smelled like roadkill and everyone kept using the bathroom and we couldn't flush.  At one point I threatened that I was going to make everyone go into the woods to do their business.  I didn't, so things just kept getting worse and worse in the single, tiny bathroom in this house.

I have always pondered the ignorance of a man (you just know it was a man) that designed a 4 bedroom house with one bathroom.  I also wish I could meet him so that I could kick him in the shins, repeatedly.

Some neighbors of mine were piling in their cars to head to friends or family to use their showers and luxurious flushable toilets.  I watched in envy as I contemplated the effectiveness of unscented baby wipes vs. swampy arm pits.  Oh, why didn't I spring for the aloe and shea butter baby wipes?

Without water, we couldn't wash dishes (yeah, that broke my heart) or cook a whole lot, so we had sandwiches for dinner and then I flopped on the couch to numb myself with several repeats of  "Sex and the City".  The episodes where Carrie went to Paris with Baryshnikov, who frankly looked like a walking mummy to me, but to each their own.

At about 11pm, my daughter received a text from a friend saying that the water was back on.  I whooped and yelled and turned on faucets and hugged everyone and danced about.  I was like a contestant 'coming on down' on "The Price is Right".

I am still slightly traumatized by my little experience without modern plumbing and I realize that I would not have made it as a pioneer.  I would have learned how to load the musket,  just so I could first shoot whatever idiot man had drug me out there and then myself.

I jumped in the shower and then hosed down the kids before finally falling into bed, grateful that my lovely sheets were not besmirched with fetid body soil.  I can't figure out people that don't bathe regularly, it feels so wonderful to be squeaky clean.

I woke up to more crap on Thursday.

So..........if you are new here then you can read this:
to get all caught up.

Ready?  OK.  On Thursday, Windstream (the phone company) got my phone turned on, but the internet couldn't be completed until today.  Not sure why, maybe tiny nanobots have to tunnel to my house first.

As soon as the phone was working, I called up Comcast because I STILL did not have the channels and features I was supposed to on my cable...never mind the whole phone fiasco.

I call, explain everything to someone, including my desire to officially cancel the nonexistent phone service and the internet.  After 16 minutes and 43 seconds, I was disconnected.

I am nothing, if not obstinate.  I called back.  And then.... if you can believe it, I got the one person in 20 at Comcast that is actually qualified to do their job.

In less than 5 minutes, she had all my cable problems fixed, the other services cancelled and she apologized for all the trouble.  2 weeks, 18 phone calls, 3 chat sessions and 1 email and I FINALLY got the 1 person that knew which button to push to fix my problem.


But, I no longer had any internet service.  Which I thought would be just fine.  I mean I am old enough to remember the days before computers ruled everything (and these words will probably haunt me during the robot revolution).

Still better than zombies.

But without any way to check email or stalk Facebook or blogs, I felt a little cut off from the virtual world that suits me far better than the real one.   Cause the real one has long lines,  body odor and these guys-

And without the internet, I had to wing it even more than usual with the home school, because 3 of the 4 kids couldn't do their online work and I couldn't run off any of the various worksheets that I normally do or look stuff up when someone has a question and we want to explore it further.  Ahh... the days before Google...they were sad, sad times.

They don't even realize that  they are miserable.

I decided to take the easy route and after we all spent time working on our reading,  I put some documentaries in the DVD player.  My son really wanted to watch some stuff on the Civil War, so we did.

We did have some intelligent discussions about secession, slave vs free states and the battle of the Monitor vs. the Merrimack.  But, the girls couldn't resist ridiculing the narrator's less than enthusiastic commentary or his cheap looking set.

Once we had spent enough time discussing the reasons the South lost and what role blockades played in the outcome of the war, I decided to expose the kids to some classic cinema that fit the topic.

 I used "Gone with the Wind" in our lessons on the Civil War.  The first half, anyway.  It is a long movie to expect kids to sit through, so we are going to finish it up sometime in the near future.

I stopped the movie several times to explain certain things, particularly about the life of slaves and later Sherman's march to the sea.  They all stayed fairly interested, but I was surprised at how much my son liked it.  He asked a ton of questions and showed genuine interest.

Then today, still no internet.  So, we practiced handwriting, reading and then social studies.  We are now on ancient Egypt.  The kids learned about all sorts of stuff, including mythology and the gods that the Egyptians worshiped.

I encourage the kids to draw, color and doodle while I read, because I feel that it keeps them engaged and interested.  They worked on some coloring pages I had copied, but they also did some free drawing.  My youngest decided she wanted to draw Osiris and my niece said she would, too.

When my niece was finished she handed me this picture:

She said, "It looks like Papa with his big bald head sweating in the sun, like a Hebrew slave."  I was dying laughing.  She is so funny and smart...Hebrew slave.... 

After our read-aloud, I gave the kids a big piece of paper for them to use for an art project making their own ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphs on a 'tomb' wall.

I think the coolest part is that we had a hieroglyph chart to use, so that we knew which symbols represent the letters of our alphabet, and the kids used this to 'sign' their work.

My girls did express dismay that their names didn't have a lot of different letters so they could use more cool symbols, but in the end, they did a great job.  The entire sheet is hanging in my hallway now and I would love to have taken a photo but the light is very poor and the cell phone can't get a good image.

Nope, still not over my son breaking my cameras.

At lunch, my youngest had some trouble with a loose tooth that she eventually ended up pulling.

Wanting to eat, but can't.

My niece, giving advice, even though she has yet to lose a tooth.

She finally got it and then she went around like this for then next half hour:

I just hope the Toothfairy does better than last time:


  1. I agree--YOUR KIDS ARE ADORABLE! What do you suppose the odds were of you finding the ONLY person at Comcast who had a brain & the ability to make things happen? I hope you got her name so you can speak to her in the (unlikely?) event you have any future trouble. Then again, I guess that's not important--she's obviously not the type of person that would work very long at Comcast.

  2. cute kids! and great pics as usual. i am surprised that the little boy didnt cry while pulling out the tooth:)

  3. "You brought this on yourself, Jebediah. Now quit your blubbering!"
    I am so using this line! lol You were on a roll with this one woman. I was laughing all the way through. Thanks for stopping by yesterday. i did the panty challenge today. lol Now that is getting me some interesting comments for sure. enjoy your weekend lady

  4. Sorry about my post today. having a moment. Will be back on track tomorrow. lol That's the problem with divorce huh?

  5. I wish I were even half as funny as you! I honestly don't know how you do it. You write in such a deliciously droll, laid-back way. Your dry humour cracks me up every time! I also hope your liitle Angel had a better deal from the tooth fairy this time. She was obviously very proud of herself. I don't recall ever having been brave enough to pluck out one of my own teeth, even when they were hanging by a thread. I always got my dad to pull them for me. Sorry we couldn't get to see the children's artwork. It sounds as though they enjoyed the project.

  6. Gone With the Wind is epic! I learned so much from that book LOL! I've never watched "Sex and the City," but I've heard it's really good.

    As always, I LOVE your wit and fun way of writing things.

    Your comment on my blog today was so awesome. Your kids are darling and very lucky to have you.

  7. @Desiree, thank you for the compliment. Her Toothfairy experience went much better this time. The project was lovely, but I think I am biased. @Elisabeth I find living novels to be great teaching tools and movies, too. I am not going to deny it. If I can show my kids 'Pride and Prejudice' or 'Oliver Twist' years before they could read it, I am certainly going to. Thanks everyone for stopping by, I will post something...anything (grocery list, ransom note) later this week.

  8. I've had the same horrible luck with utility companies. Glad you finally got your problems fixed! I agree with the other comments. Your kids are adorable. I have the same tissue-in-mouth photo of my daughter when she lost her first tooth!


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