I have a condition that I have lived with my entire life- laziness. Unlike some people that protest their laziness as they deepen their butt-dent in the couch, I embrace mine. I admit that if I didn't have kids and a house to take care of, I would spend most of my days deepening my dent on the couch.
Before having children, I would spend entire weekends in bed, with a book. I would crawl out for the occasional bathroom trip or refrigerator recon mission, but I made sure to return to my cocoon of blankets and historical romance as soon as possible. Often with a slice of cold pizza and a diet Dr. Pepper.
I could afford to spend most of my time barely moving and accomplishing little, because 5 days a week, 2 or 3 hours a day I would exercise- running, weight lifting and aerobics. That sounds like a lot, until you balance it with sitting for 8 hours for work and then lazing around for 12 more at home and in bed.
Does anyone remember step-aerobics? I used to hit a step-aerobics class every week day. I was a sight to behold given my natural klutziness- flopping, flapping and sweating profusely. I know this because gyms are considerate enough to place mirrors EVERYWHERE!
In 1997, I had a big, ol' life altering car accident. I couldn't sit up straight, much less walk for a while. It took months for me to recover enough to limp around on my own.
During the time I was confined to bed, everyone that visited was so nice. They brought me cookies and candy and I shoveled it in with my good hand (the left was smashed). I got bigger and bigger lying in bed all day for months on end.
No sooner did I get up and start to lose a little of the 60 lbs I gained, when I got pregnant and gained 58 more. The fat fairy wasn't finished with me yet. I then developed hypothyroidism, but didn't realize it until I was near comatose, 2 years and 40 lbs. later.
By the time I had several miscarriages, 3 surgeries and 2 more babies over the next 6 years I was 130 lbs heavier than my starting weight.
Now, the sad part is that I do much more on a daily basis than I did 13 years ago. I have to clean, feed and care for 3 kids, by myself. It is a full-time job. You add the fact that I homeschool and you can pretty much find me on my feet for 8 hours (or more) a day. Sometimes I will realize that it is dinnertime and I haven't sat once since lunchtime.
Why have I bored you (and possibly made it hard for you to swallow your breakfast) with the saga of my ever increasing mass? Because I have decided to try *GASP* exercising again. Formal exercise, because apparently karmic justice does not consider a day spent on your feet cleaning, scrubbing, cooking, serving and playing with your kids enough activity to keep you from being big enough to have your own gravitational pull.
I never minded being big. Luckily my ego isn't tied to my appearance.
Let's be clear. I would mind if Richard Simmons were screeching in my front yard while the cut off the side of the house to load me on a flat bed. *Pffft* I have some standards.
I finally managed to build up my strength in my legs enough last summer so that I could run short distances. I was very excited, because I used to walk/run about 5 miles several days a week. It is a very cheap and effective form of therapy. All of that pushing a freaking mower through the African savannah (my back yard) must have helped.
The problem is, everything else has gotten weaker. I can barely sit up in bed (marshmallow abs) and I have flappy arms. I don't have anyone else to do the heavy lifting, so I need to be able to do what needs done.
I can forsee a time in the next couple years when lifting a gallon of milk would be too much for me. I can't let that happen. Too many people I know have atrophied to the point where they can't lift more than 25lbs or walk up a flight of stairs without needing an oxygen mask.
So, today I am going to start by tearing the shrink-wrap off of a workout DVD I won at Christmas time. That can be my warm-up.
Here's hoping that after going 13 years with out participating in an exercise regimen that I live through the 30 minute workout.
If I do live and continue working out each day, I promise that I won't become one of those annoying women that only talks about her weight, exercise and diet. Even when I was young and fit, those broads made me want to shake them like rag dolls.
If I don't live, well, now you will know why the blog posts came to an abrupt end.