Monday, January 31, 2011

How a crap chair and DVD's nearly killed me

My mom has this great office chair.  It is huge, cushy, big back and arm rests.  It is a swively, comfy delight for plunking your fatness in whilst harvesting your many virtual crops.  She got it at Big Lots for a steal and has lamented the fact that she did not purchase two.

I HAD a small, cheapo office chair that was given to me (and I was grateful, truly).  It was half the size of my fat bottom and cushioned with what felt like about 1/4 in of Soviet era TP.

I was never very comfortable, but I managed.  I have important work to do at my computer- reading emails, entering giveaways, tending my farm (God help me!)  About 3 weeks ago, my chair decided to collapse under my prodigious girth and it now sits 8 inches off the floor and it is relegated to the kid's play room.

Now, I have to sit in one of my fancy dinette chairs:

Note the quality cushion, made from an old mattress protector and pillow sham.

This lovely piece of crud tried to kill me last night, well, in a conspiracy plot with my youngest child, her brother and about 100 DVD's.  

Last night, in that lull after dinner, but before baths and bed, the kids were playing in the front yard while I worked diligently (perused Cracked.com) on my computer.

Suddenly the peace is shattered when my son comes barreling through the door, babbling incoherently.  He slams and locks the door behind him and screams, "They are gonna try to lie on me!!"

He then tries to tell me something about getting bitten and details of the latest brawl between him and my youngest while I bellow at him to unlock and open the door, because the girls are now banging on it and ringing the bell furiously.  I was one wife-beater away from being featured on COPS.

I am still perched daintily on my quality chair as he opens the door and my youngest bursts in and goes right for his jugular like a lion on a gazelle.  I jump up to intervene and catch the toe of one of my bedroom slippers on the leg of my chair.

With my cat-like grace and reflexes, I stumble and flop and would have righted myself except for the trap in the middle of the floor left by the lion (youngest daughter). 

Before dinner, she had taken every DVD off the shelf looking for Iron Man and they were strewn all over the floor.  I insisted she pick them up and she kept putting it off, but being the easy-going schmuck that I am, I thought I would just make her do it when she came in from playing...if I lived that long.

Mid-flail, bent at the waist, feet flopping in the search for balance, I step on one DVD case after another.  It was like a cartoon- they kept whipping from under my feet as I continued at great speed and peril across my living room.

About .0001 seconds before impact, it flashed through my mind 'Oh, this will NOT end well!'  

Lucky for me, I could have merely fallen in a heap and banged my knees and palms and been a little sore, but the strangely rigid  foot rest on the  (total piece of crap, much repaired, stink-foot-smell-laden) recliner caught me- slam in the freakin face and head!!  It was like a truck hitting  a wall.  I still don't know how I didn't shatter my spine.

As I lay there, stars and birdies circling my head, my son is frantically asking if I am alright.  Normally, I would lie, to spare them anxiety and myself an unnecessary interview with an EMT, but I WAS dazed.  I whimper "No..." and he tears off like a shot to get my oldest daughter.  It is worth noting, that I was sooooo injured, that I never once said a swear word during or immediately after my whole ordeal.  Anyone that knows me, knows that even a paper cut gets an F-bomb, but I was so stunned that I couldn't remember to use my cuss words.  Maybe I need a CAT scan...

Something weird happened when I hit my head, too (aside from the stunning flash of stars behind my eyes).  It was like my sinuses instantly drained.  It was gross and weird and must kind of be like acupressure if it was done with the force of a sledgehammer.

I managed to pick myself up off the floor about the same time my oldest came in.  She asked if I was OK, I said 'no', she blanched and I said, 'but, I am not going to die'.  This was enough reassurance for her, she went back out to play.  I wonder how much blood she could have ignored?

I limped into the bathroom to assess the damage, which consists of the following:

a huge egg on my forehead and top of the head
smashed, crushed, jammed (or something) spine, especially in the cervical area
my formerly good shoulder (the left) now hurts like the deformed and ruined shoulder (right, ruined from carrying ungrateful and murderous children for too many years, but I wallow in self-pity...)
my wrists feel jammed
pinky nail on left hand ripped to the quick (that burns like a mother...)
broken veins in the tops of my feet (I wasn't sure about this injury last night, I just knew the top of my feet burned really bad and I was too chicken to take my socks off, for fear that all the skin would come off too)  broken veins and bruises on the palm of my right hand (also extremely unpleasant)
bruised knees, with some sort of weird injury to my tendons or varicose veins- all I know is that the back or my right leg burns like fire and some sort of cordy thing feels snappy ( I know that doesn't make much sense, but imagine a rubber band in the back of your leg, and then imagine snapping it- there, that is what is happening)
Did I mention I have a giant egg on my forehead?!

As I sat on my crappy couch, with bed pillows for cushions, (because the stray cat, I tried to give shelter in a fit of misguided philanthropy,  peed all over the regular cushions), ice pack on my head, I felt like weeping.  Which made me angry and weepy, but I refused to cry.  Not because I have great willpower or whatever people with character have.  Nope, I thought, if I start to cry, in my weakened and damaged condition, I will never have the strength to make it off this hideous couch.

I popped a ton of motrin, but I still hurt like crazy.  Either, I have shattered parts and the pills are relieving pain and I just don't know it, or I got a bottle of something else.  If I experience penis enlargement, sudden weight loss or excessive hair growth, I WILL take photos.

I still don't know what happened between my kids outside that precipitated my head dive across the living room and I don't care- do THEY have a frigging giant lump on their forehead?  I didn't think so.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sunday, Happy, Sunday

When I was a kid, I hated Sundays.  We were always broke, we didn't attend church and the TV only had 3 stations- one always broadcast bowling, another had  a lousy B movie and finally, my favorite- televangelists.

Time is funny for kids.  When you are bored and lonely, it drags and Sundays always felt like they were an eternity.  Even the end of a Sunday was sad, because the next day was always a school day and I hated school worse than a month of Sundays.

It is weird because as an adult, Sunday has  always been my favorite day of the week.  My kids and I are together most of the time, but Sundays just have a different vibe.  We watch movies, eat big home cooked meals and relax.  There is no where we have to go and nothing we have to do and that is such a relief.

Random Babbling Alert!  Something complete off-topic follows.

Tomorrow, my Big Girl starts a new online school curriculum and I am very excited (yes, more than she is).  She isn't one for a lot of reading and text books, but she loves being on the computer.  I am hoping that she will enjoy this new program and since I only have to worry about teaching her 'extras' like art and music, I should be spending a lot less time pouring over lesson plans.

Going to an oral surgeon this week to get a broken tooth and an impacted wisdom tooth removed.  Yeah, me!  If it weren't for the wacky gas and scrip for Vicodin he is going to give me, Thursday would be a total wash.

Finally, being Sunday, I am supposed to submit my weekly photo entry on my flickr group and I don't have anything.  Zip, Nada, Bupkiss!  I can't think of anything interesting to shoot, I don't want to get dressed and go look for anything to shoot.  Hmmmm....it is a bit of a problem.

What's the worst that can happen?  I get kicked out of my free, voluntary group for not participating?  I need to remember this is why I don't join things.  I hate being obligated to do anything.  I know, some people are thinking, um...that is life.  However, I have done very well avoiding situations where I am obligated or required to do anything.

Well, I have 10 hours to take a picture of something.  Maybe I will get inspired sometime today.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

How winter should be...

10 minutes ago in my front  yard


After tons of snow, ice and gloomy days we finally had a break in the weather.  Thank God!  And just what I needed, too.  I was able to turn the heat off, air my house out, and get some sunshine.  

I know that cold and slush and ice will probably be back soon, but I will enjoy this for now.

Have a touch of tummy trouble, so this is all I am posting today.  Hope you all are enjoying your weekend half as much as my kid's are enjoying theirs.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Irritable, mean, rotten and nasty...

I am in a foul mood.  I don't know if it is the unceasing gloom of winter or cabin fever or the flip-flop of middle-age hormones.  All I know is that my already weak and belabored teeth are being ground to nubs as I try to keep from losing it.

I just feel so very irritable.  Every little thing is on my nerves, though, in my defense, they are really annoying little things.

Like, the giant globs of slushy mud I found all over my bathroom- on the rug, in the sink, ON THE WALLS!!!  I guess someone came in from sledding covered in mud and decided to share.

Or, there is my son, who constantly teases my youngest.  Normal stuff, right?  But, I bet what isn't normal is the ear splitting, high-pitch, 135 decibel shriek that she emits when he looks at her cross-eyed. This can happen a dozen times an hour.

I could go on for forever, but I am sure you get the idea.  We need a break in the weather.  Yes, they play outside a lot, especially for winter.  However, when it isn't freezing and wet, we all get outside for most of everyday.

All, I know is that with the number of snow days they are having here, kids will likely lose a month of summer break.  Which is going to mess up my kid's summer camp, which will ruin their summer.  Oh, winter...you kinda suck sometimes.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Slow Down!!

It is winter, yet people in Kentucky aren't driving any better than their usual.  I have lived all over and while drivers in NY and LA are aggressive, they majority generally have some  ability.  Not so, here in KY.  

As a military family, we have lived all over the world and we all agree that the drivers in this state are the worst we have encountered in America.  Hard to believe?  Well, the fact that one of the most affordable states in the Union also has some of the highest auto insurance rates should be an indication of the poor driving  ability of the locals.

Not only are they aggressive in their driving, but they are for the most part, unskilled.  I have never seen such horrific driving and it really grates on my nerves. I was in a serious car accident, caused by a reckless teenager running a red light, about 13 years ago.  When people speed, road rage and take foolish risks I feel a sickening combinations of anger and fear.

I really feel that getting your license in this country should be much more difficult.  Drivers should have to demonstrate real skill and they should have to continue to show it throughout their lives as license holders.  It is laughably easy to get a license.  Don't think so?

When I was 17, I had been behind the wheel of a car exactly 3 times in my life, for less than 15 minutes each time.  On my 14th, 15th and 16th birthday, I got to drive around some parking lots.

So, without a permit and with 45 minutes of driving experience, I took my drivers test and passed.  I was loosed on the world.  Now, luckily, my Dad spent more time teaching me and then I ended up in the military and LA, where I learned extreme defensive driving, but the woman that passed me could not possibly know that I would get more instruction.  To her, my nervous and clumsy driving was acceptable.  

It only takes a few moments in city traffic to realize that at least half the people behind the wheel don't belong there.  In America, we think of driving as a right and necessary, but it is a privilege that should only be granted to the highly trained and skilled.  By this standard, I figure at least half my immediate family would lose their licenses.  I might even lose mine.  I am careful, but not an expert and I am beginning to think only experts should have the right to drive.

I have long wished I could bike more often to places I need to go, but I just know some idiot motorist would turn me into road kill.  If it weren't for the likelihood that my fellow countrymen will behave like extras in a Mad Max movie, I almost welcome gas shortages. 

I often wonder if diminishing oil reserves isn't God's way of helping us out of the mess we have made of our world.  There would be less pollution, more exercise and people would be forced to slow down in their daily lives.  

Instead of speeding from one play date, piano lesson, shopping trip and meeting after another, we would have to live more mindfully.  Instead of filling our days with mindlessness, we would have to be aware.  Why are we afraid to slow-down?  Is it because so many people are trying to fill a void with busyness and material goods?  I think so.

This rant is all caused by the fact that yesterday, some foolish, idiotic and clueless driver of a giant gas-guzzling SUV nearly killed my Mom, my niece, both my daughters and me. 

We were at a stop light and the light turned green.  My mother looked both ways and (thank God) slowly edged out into traffic when this maniac came barreling up a hill at a high rate of speed.  She never even slowed down as she gunned her way through the intersection.

My mother had slammed on the brakes and blared the horn, but as we sat, stunned, in the middle of the road, the crazy woman behind the wheel of the SUV was already blocks up the road.  Never once did she touch her brakes!!

Our car is tiny, we jokingly refer to it as the clown car.  That truck, going at least 50 MPH would have killed all of us.  I was so sick to my stomach afterwards.  I wish I never had to ride in a car again.  

All night long instead of sleep, I not only kept reliving the near-miss, but my mind tortured me with scenes of a crash.  Broken and bleeding bodies, 3 lovely little girls crushed and killed.  All so some idiot could rush head-long into her busy life.

Am I bitter and angry?  Absolutely.  I seriously could have followed that woman until I yanked her from her car and beat her senseless.  But, I see this kind of reckless driving everyday.  I would never get anywhere if I confronted every lousy driver to cross my path.

I have already limited the amount of driving and automobile trips I take, after this, I expect to clear my calender of out of town appointments and limit myself even further.  Unnecessary trips were already becoming a thing of the past, this just firms my resolve.

Thankfully, I live in a small town that is easily walkable and if I do have to drive, the speed limit varies from 15 MPH to 35 MPH in town.  Some day, when my children are grown, I might consider moving to a major city with real, walkable neighborhoods and efficient public transportation, but until then my carbon footprint will be greatly reduced.   

I am sure some people think this is a gross over reaction, but auto accidents are still the leading killer of children in this country.  I have been rammed by an idiot driver in a truck once before and nearly died.  Now, I spend my life with constant pain and stiffness.  I will be damned if I let it happen to my kids.

I don't expect that lawmakers in this country will change things so that those carrying a license are actually skilled and responsible, so I guess I will have to wait for the pending oil crisis to clear the roads of morons.




Please be more conscious when you drive.  You are not as good or as careful as you think you are.  None of us are.


Sunday, January 23, 2011

Things to do in Hodgenville when you are bored

No, this isn't a list of actual things to do in my town, though it is the birthplace of Abraham Lincoln and there are several places you can play tourist at, though I haven't gotten around to visiting any of them, yet.  Hey, I have only lived here a couple of years.  I will get to it, eventually.

I have been a little bored this last week.  It is cold and snowy and I have hunkered down for the duration.  I have read- a lot.  Cooked, more than I want to and done endless sinks full of dishes (any dish washed is one too many in my book).

Dear God, I have even been lured back into Farmville.  Maybe that is when I knew I had bottomed out, I was asking for bricks to build my virtual Cupid's Castle.

By the way, if you ever decide to turn your keyboard upside down and give it a few hearty shakes, you might find all sorts of crumbs and dust raining all over your desk.  Just saying...

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Let's Get Random!

I don't have one specific thing in mind for blogging today, just some random thoughts.

Let's start with the big weather news around here.  I was woke up at a few minutes before 6 by an automated call from the school board saying school had been cancelled.

I go to the window and everything looks fine and other than some creepy fog that lasted until this afternoon, nothing worth cancelling school happened until school would have normally ended, anyway.

This is what has happened in the last hour
The Back Yard

Yesterday my daughter made her own T-shirt, which I think is so cute and creative.  She did it free hand, on her lap in about 20 mins.  Next time she decided to stretch the shirt over a board to make it easier to draw on.

Super Cute!!  

I got my electric bill a couple days ago and it was ridiculous for the second month in a row.  I never turn my heat up to even comfortable, much less warm.  Still, it is triple what it was this summer and I used the air conditioning almost daily!  I already wore sweaters, heavy socks and slippers, now I am carrying a big comforter everywhere and last night I slept fully dressed.  I don't know what else to do.  It makes me sooooo upset!!

I got an email notice that my daughter had won a Scholastic giveaway for the Despicable Me DVD.  Yeah!  But they want a signed affidavit from me, my daughter and a W-9 mailed to them to claim the $15 DVD.  What, no blood or urine sample?  I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I have won prizes valued at well over $200 and not had to do more than provide an address.  Way to be a buzzkill, Scholastic!

I think I am going to make some sugar cookies later with the kids when they come in from playing in the snow.  That and hot cocoa sounds so yummy and the oven will heat up the kitchen for a while.

Stay safe and warm everyone.





Wednesday, January 19, 2011

This just in- I am a dork!

Looking over comments, I realized that I capitalized the Mom in my blog title.  I would love to say that I chose to do this for some great reason.  Nope, I am a dork.  Don't judge me too harshly.  The day I started my blog I was mid-nervous breakdown.  I think I have it fixed now and it only took me 10 minutes of bumbling.  Now, if I could only figure out how to set up buttons for followers...

Stay out of my Homeschool!

I don't know what rock I have been living under, but it just smacked me in the face today that Republicans are pushing for a federal tax credit for homeschoolers.  Golly Gee!  That sounds awesome until I remember that it is the US federal government (killer of dreams) and the US Congress (boneheads of the free world).

There are many sides to this story, but even those in strong favor of public education admit that the government will exact a heavy toll for their meager credit.  There is an entire forum at the NY Times to debate this, and so far the majority is against this measure.  http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2011/01/04/do-home-schoolers-deserve-a-tax-break

While there are many free resources available to homeschoolers, for the most part, you are going to come out of your pocket for a boatload of expenses.  It might be tempting to offset the cost of curriculum, books, globes, maps, lab equipment and field trips with a credit from Uncle Sam, but don't bite that carrot just yet.

It is no secret that most of mainstream society still see us as fringe extremists.  Anyone that doesn't believe that, just needs to have a conversation with a half dozen well meaning friends and neighbors that don't homeschool.  Tired assumptions that we are turning our children into socially retarded and deprived individuals while we stock our panic room abound.

Our public education system is broken.  Those that are high achievers in this system get there in spite of the education they are receiving.  Yet, time and again, people think sitting at a desk memorizing boring facts out of text books (usually flawed and substandard) is the only way to learn and anything else is just robbing your kid of a future. Even if I ignore the clear evidence that our schools now force our educators to 'teach to the test',  I  still don't want these people deciding how and what my children should learn.  If I did, they would be in public school.

I pray that this proposal fails.  I don't want the fools on Capitol Hill sticking their collective ignorant noses into my home demanding I follow their rules and regulations.  If that happens, I might as well buy my kids bullet-proof vests and send them back to public school.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Wishful Thinking




I am in a funk!  A funking funk!  It might be the dreary grey weather, but I doubt it is the only reason.  I feel like I am at a crossroads, only it is so foggy I can't see the road, much less a sign.

Since I am feeling all blah and *sigh*, I have decided to make a wish list.

I wish I never ran out of Q-tips.  I love to clean (OK, give myself chills) my ears twice a day.

I wish I had a nanny, a maid and a hot pool boy that didn't speak English, but adored fat, old American broads.  And that he looked like this:


I wish I could lose weight as easily as I do sleep.

I wish that they made chocolate flavored toothpaste.

I wish that once my house was clean it stayed that way longer than 12 seconds.  (This is an extreme post-holiday disaster, but you get the gist.)


I wish that I could find a fulfilling, rewarding, fun and well-paying career.

I wish that I never let the one good man I loved get away.

I wish to always have a smart comeback and the wisdom to know when not to use it.

I wish people loved each other more.

I wish that I could hug a puppy every morning.

I wish I could have a do-over on life.

I wish spring would come already.

Monday, January 17, 2011

I am one of those horrid snobby parents

I have become one of those people that I used to hate.  The smug parent.  I don't mean to be smug.  I am deliriously happy, only in my body it comes off more as labored breathing and lazy smugness.



My kids have reached a stage where their behavior is so good for the most part, that I can almost feel my sanity trying to creep back in.

After years of sleepless nights, refereeing brawls and serving as a one-woman Hazmat unit, I am starting to see the light.

I have well-behaved, polite and sweet kids.  (Right now, I got very sweaty and twitchy writing that, in case I am somehow calling a curse down upon my head.)

The best part is, they can pour their own drinks, microwave food, put their own shoes on, etc.  My oldest can even cook on the stove (with supervision).  They use manners, they care about animals and other people.  They like to be helpful.  They take pride in their accomplishments.

 I just really enjoy all of them right now.  There is an occasional sassy comment or my youngest still can get overtired and have a good cry, but our daily life is 1000% better than what it was just a couple years ago.

Of course, I loved and enjoyed them when they were little, but sometimes, when you are in the trenches of single parenthood, you don't get to shower daily, much less realize your kids' greatness.



Maybe I feel somewhat vindicated, too.  Since they could toddle, well meaning people often questioned my lack of strict discipline.  I rarely spanked them.  I can pretty much recount every spanking and nearly every single time was because they were endangering themselves or others.

But, when they were terrible 2 and 3, people felt I should 'beat their asses' more.  Ummm...no...sorry.  Then, when they were smart mouthed or wild over the years, people again had the nerve to question how I raised my kids.  With love, with time-outs, loss of privileges, and lots of hugs.  I couldn't be the crazy belt-wielding parent.  I just couldn't.  And if I had a dime for each time someone said "If you don't get a handle on it now, they are going to run all over you when they get older", my well-behaved kids and I could go to Disney World.

I know that quite a bit of how people turn out is their own personality and psyche.  I have seen good parents end up with total nut-cases for offspring.  But, I have also seen some parents that have damaged perfectly good kids with their 'discipline' and emotional abuse.

I made plenty of mistakes and have said things I wish I could take back, but for the most part, I must have done something good.

So, here is to my 3 Musketeers!  Thanks for making life interesting and for being the kind of kids any Mom would be proud to have.  I love you boogers!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Tummy Trouble

You know how old people only ever talk about two things, their bowels and the weather.  Well, I am officially on my way to crone-city!  I never had stomach issues until a food poisoning incident about 7 years ago.  Now, I feel like a colicky baby crossed with a choleric Sumo wrestler.

Have to go to a little family birthday party for my niece and nephew and I am just hoping not to 'shart' myself. That would really affect the birthday wishes- 'I wish Aunt April hadn't pooped her pants at my party!'

Just hope to get home at a decent time so I can curl up in misery in my bed with a trashy romance novel.  Clean pants will be a plus.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I don't want to brag, but as a lazy person that hates to clean, I thought I could pass this nugget of sloth on to others.  My mother is already a convert.

 I can't have a real tree (kids with allergies) and after having all of my fragile glass bulbs get broken over the years I only use kid-friendly sturdy types.  So, 2 years ago I came across a wonderful invention, a fake tree that is not only pre-strung with lights (hallelujah!), but it has all the limbs attached.

 It comes in 2 pieces that you fit together and then kinda like an umbrella, the limbs come down and you fluff it up a little.  Here is the best part, exhausted and overwhelmed, when I went to take it down, I just folded it, ornaments and all and laid it in the box.

This year I only had to take it out and fluff.  A couple ornaments came off, but overall, it was a 10 minute process to put up and quicker to take down.

Feel free to steal my idea.  I have already posted it on the comments of Twofer Mom's blog. http://www.twofermom.com/twofer-journal/2011/1/10/christmas-clean-up-complete-and-im-reminded-why-some-go-for.html


Here is my tree.  Yes, it is a white tree.  Don't judge!  The kids liked it!


They also made paper chains this year, but the gold garland is still in place from LAST year.  Yep, there might be fancier trees, but mine is a stress-free special!!

Candy Canes are not my friend

Originally I intended to post a few pics and make a quick entry about yet another snow day.  However, in light of my latest near-death experience, I feel compelled to warn everyone of the dangers of candy cane wrappers.  Also, given that this is like my 34th near death experience, I wish to respectfully ask the Lord to yank someone else's chain for awhile.  I am tired and a bit twitchy from it all.

 Be aware friends that the innocuous candy cane wrapper can cause you to suffer paroxysms of coughing, gagging, choking, loss of bladder control and in my case, excessive use of the F-word.

It is no joke, make sure there is no lurking bit of invisible and skin-thin plastic on your candy cane.  Because, if there is, when you are happily licking along, you WILL be sorry!  In hopes of relieving yet another bout of nausea (thanks a lot, gastrointestinal system and once again, God, really? again today?  Doesn't that make like 956 sick days out of the last 1,000?), I was licking along, blissfully unaware that I would in mere seconds be horking up a lung and pounding the counters.

It is good to know that while I am trying to not go into the big white light, my kids could still enjoy their video games and Spongebob.  I would have hated for them to be alarmed, though a loud crash as  I fell unconscious might have rattled the TV enough to disturb them.

Now, back to our regular boring blog post:



Another snow day and I couldn't be happier.  I didn't have to schlep my big butt to the bus stop in the freezing cold at 7 am, so my day was already much improved over the usual Tuesday.

Got to use the weather and icy roads as an excuse to bow out of unpleasant obligations and now I plan to spend the day in my PJ's doing nothing.  Ahhh, life is good sometimes.



My youngest with her 'invention' of Snowball on a Stick!



As the Statue of Liberty!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Migraines and Lunatics

I suffer from migraines.  Not as often as I used to, but I still get one once in a while.  Lucky, lucky, lucky me!  Stress and insomnia are my biggest triggers and I have had a bunch of stress in my personal life.  Some I won't discuss because it involves minor children, but I can rant about the email I received that left me shaking with fury (which, I always thought was one of those literary descriptions that real people don't experience, like heaving bosoms).

Long story short, I had a relationship for a few years with a man.  I broke things off 2 years ago, because of disagreements over raising the kids and money.  Infidelity was never an issue for us.

 We did the little make-up and break-up dance several times, including once last summer.  Within a couple of weeks of the last make-up/break-up I received a phone call from a woman that claimed she was living with my sometimes boyfriend.  We compared notes.  Realized he had lied and cheated on both of us with the other.  We  both declared that we were finished with him.  Only one of us meant it.

To sum it up, she continued to live with him and his cheating ways.  He continued to call and write me all the time.  Once, during a  24 hour period at the end of October I received 26 emails from him.

When the foolish girl checked his phone and computer, she realized what was going on and instead of paying attention to the messages I returned that were often either very mean or just polite impersonal replies about the kids and usually repeated that I wanted to move on, she goes crazy on me.  ME!  Like I want to be involved in their Jerry Springer/ Maury Povich romance!

Just before Christmas, the evil ex asked if he could come to my house for Christmas to see me and the kids.  I replied with things like 'Whatever!' and  'HELL NO!' and the last message I sent included a link to the wonderful song "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.  If you don't know it, it is about a woman that is telling off an old love that threw it all away.  I then blocked his email address, like I had threatened.

Whew!  Still with me?  So, yesterday, I am reading emails and blogs, when I get a message from this lunatic girl telling me that she and the evil ex are now happily married and would I  'be a woman' and leave him alone?!  Of all the crazy nerve!  She then goes on to ask me to forward any new and future messages and email from him to her, so she can confront him. (side note:  it only took 10 minutes of calls to old friends and his family and an internet search to find out that while she calls herself his 'wifey' they are in fact not married.  Such trash!)

I don't know how I typed my reply, I actually was vibrating from rage.  How dare these trashy people keep trying to pull me into their problems?  How could someone I spent 4 years with, had planned to marry myself and had a fairly amicable split from, allow this woman to continue to harass me?!  

I replied that she was delusional.  If she could read, she would see that I repeatedly told my ex that I did not want anything to do with him anymore and that she knew I had blocked the old email accounts, because she had used a new one to contact me.  

I know she realizes he isn't being faithful to her and she wants me to do her dirty work and I told her so, before I closed with the statement that if I heard from either one of them again I was taking everything to the police.  Yep, it was a bluff, but I am hoping that they back off.

So, this is where the headache comes in.  It started within seconds of getting the email, continued all night and at about 9 am was so bad I had tears pouring from my eyes and blood coming from my nose.  I was like a horror movie.  My poor kids.  All I managed to do was throw cereal at them and beg my oldest to keep everyone quiet.

I have taken so much medicine that my liver is waving a white flag, but I have finally gone from crashing migraine to a normal headache.  Thank God. 

While I was thanking God I did ask him to get those human turds to leave me alone by whatever methods he found appropriate, though I am always down for a little lightning bolt or plague of locusts.


Hope the video thing works.  Never tried it before.  Adele is Awesome!  

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Yeah! A new follower and Snow!

First I want to say Hi to both of my followers! Haha!  Living the dream...

On to today's post:

First, it snowed and the kids are having a blast!  They have so much fun running outside, getting lots of snow, mud and nature all over themselves and then run inside and track it all over my house.  If  I were the kind of homemaker that mopped every day (or week- stop judging!) I might be more upset.  I just try to remember to wear my bedroom slippers with the 'outdoor' soles so that the slush bombs don't soak through to my socks.

Yes, my child is wearing two coats.  It IS snowing!

Speaking of pictures, in a burst of uncharacteristic ambition, I signed up for a weekly photography project group on flickr.  Well, submissions are due tomorrow and the best thing I came up with is also cliche:


Ah, well.  Unless something really interesting occurs in my house in the next 24 hrs this poo will be what I put on my flickr.  That will teach me for being a 'joiner'.



Oh, finally, since I have 2 followers now, I need to note that since posting about PayBox, I have learned they might be an elaborate scam.  I have not suffered any ill effects (spam, ninjas breaking into my house to steal my fresh fruit), but I just thought I would pass on the info.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Photography and Me

Back in the olden days, I was a photographer.  Before babies and motherhood, I was a photojournalist for the Air Force.

I wasn't bad, either.  I was published.  I loved it!  Absolutely loved it!  I would work 7 days a week, 12 to 16 hours a day, by choice.

Digital photography was in it's infancy, so I generally used an old Nikon F3 for everything.  The military gave me film, batteries, equipment, lenses, filters and assignments.  I also had access to a pro dark room and several different film and print processing machines.  I was living the life.

Then, I got out of the military and never could afford a good SLR, much less any of the extras I would need if I wanted to continue photography as a career.  The only job offers I received were for taking children's school photos or crime scene photographer for the state police.  I can't say which was less appealing!

So, for years my skills have rusted, my talents abandoned.  Today, I saw an interesting blog post about a photo project.  It is p52 and it was started by the lovely blog goddess at My 3 Boybarians.  Instead of a daily photo project (the pressure!), you submit a photo each week.

While there is less quantity pressure, looking at the submissions of others, the quality pressure will be there!!  I have a point and shoot.  I feel camera envy!

I intend to stick with this, though.  I really need the practice and I really need to be doing something I love, just for me, again.

If you are interested you can join here http://www.flickr.com/groups/m3bp52/